He wrote me a letter.
It was about six pages long.Front and back.
He wrote it in a small print.
And in the letter,
He told me how he had suffered through insanity.
That he was seeing things. People. Dead people.
You see, he was in the Cold War.
It wasn’t a life or death experience for him. He didn’t had a choice. It was hell. He nearly tasted death.
He told me about one of his comrade. How Pete had saved his life.
Supposedly, Pete took a grenade for him. And how he witnessed Pete’s body explodes into pieces.
He told me how he couldn’t sleep anymore. At least, not how he used to.
I could tell he have been smoking. There were a couple of cigarettes burn on the paper. I guess he didn’t notice or didn’t care.
I could tell that he lost it. The joy of living. Life. He don’t know much of anything more. Everything he knows got destroy in the war.
He told me he needed help. Something to bring him back. He said I was the only friend he has left. Though I haven’t seen him in years.
And honestly, I’m not sure if I can save him.
Because I was in the war too. So I understand what he’s going through.
And I’m trying to save myself before I save anyone else’s.
Soliloquy of a living dead
Am I the only one who’s not allow to hurt?
It’s okay when I get put down
Lashed, ragged, scarred
And that’s okay right?
Because it’s me you’re hurting
When I try to defend myself
It’s my fault
Am I the only one who’s not allow to be happy?
It’s not okay for me to feel happiness?
Then what am I allow. Tell me.
You’re not protecting me when you’re the one who’s hurting me
Oh my god. You are so fucking cute, you know that? I bet ya don't.
We’re just young lovers
Soon this will pass, this is just a phase
Please.Don’t believe in us. It’s just a phase
We’re just young lovers.
I had a lover once
But then he broke me
So I stop loving
It’s easier to deal with life that way
I don’t know where I’m going
I don’t know where I belong
I should be happy
But I’m not
Don’t try to figure me out.
If you do try, try not to be lost.
I don’t know how you’re doing. Or what you’re feeling. I never did in the first place. I don’t know how long I can drag this. Us.
You’re just there. That one place And you’re locked up. Because I don’t want to set you free, if I do, I’ll set everything of you free. Us.
All I can think about is us. How we have drifted. How disconnected we are with each other. And how I can’t recognize you anymore. Me.
Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m the core problem to everything. You.
Maybe it’s you who made me this way.
Just somebody that you used to know.
Hm. I guess theres must have been a reason for that? I could be wrong.
P.S totally sang out the “somebody that I used to know” song.
You'd love living here. And to answer your question: yes, totally.
No doubt. And who is this exactly? Can’t really “chill” with a faceless stranger..